7 Ways First And Second Pregnancies Are Different

7 Ways First And Second Pregnancies Are Different

A second being pregnant is a wholly totally different expertise than being pregnant with a primary. If you’re pregnant the primary time, you’re a princess; a tremendous, delicate creature rising a brand new life in a masterful, mysterious method. Persons are in awe of your majesty. You’re informed to relaxation as a lot as attainable. You’re inspired to pamper your self. You’re informed you glow!

However, for spherical two, you’ll be able to neglect concerning the particular remedy. You may’t relaxation or keep off your toes and also you don’t get any downtime or alone time, not to mention time to pamper your self. You’re not a magic vessel making a miracle, however an skilled mother. Do you glow? Perhaps, however you do it whereas lined in pee, poop, blood and snot. For child two, you’re now not an harmless beginner — you’ve gone to battle as soon as and also you’re an skilled soldier. And also you’re about to do it over again.

Throughout my second being pregnant, I noticed why a second (and each subsequent) youngster has fewer photos and accolades and fewer consideration. Despite the fact that it took me a 12 months to conceive the second time, after I lastly did get pregnant, I used to be so consumed with the child I already had that I couldn’t deal with my second being pregnant. Each milestone, feeling or image that I celebrated the primary time sort of acquired ignored the second time round. After all, I like my second youngster as a lot as my older one, however just about every part about my second being pregnant was, in a method, lower than my first.

Listed here are some examples:

Sonogram photos…

For child one, I marveled over every photograph — taking a look at his little ribs, backbone, nostril — questioning what he’d appear like, if he’d have his daddy’s eyes or my mouth. We scanned the photographs and uploaded them to Fb, making captions, sharing them proudly. I even made frames for my mother and father and in-laws so they may showcase the infant earlier than that they had precise child photos. I saved every authentic image (and even some duplicates) in a folder devoted to the infant, in chronological order after all.

For child two, I forgot to point out my husband the photographs half the time. As an alternative, I discovered them days after my appointment, crumpled on the backside of my bag, underneath snacks and wipes. Once I thought of it, I put just a few on the fridge, however I definitely don’t make copies for my mother and father or in-laws this time. Why would they need an image of an alien/fish/baby-looking factor once they may show an image of their lovely 3-year-old grandson as an alternative? And Fb? Neglect it. I definitely wasn’t taking the difficulty to scan issues, not to mention showcase a grainy, black-and-white picture that wasn’t even cute.

Weekly replace e-mails…

For child one, my husband and I each counted down the times till we obtained our weekly replace emails. I up to date my Gchat standing every week to replicate the dimensions fruit the infant correlated to (which I believed was so cute and in no way annoying). We checked out produce stands to raised perceive the dimensions of our tiny, rising creature — a kumquat — how large is a kumquat, we questioned? I learn, with curiosity and pleasure, what different ladies had been pondering and the options the emails provided.

For child two, I signed up for the weekly emails solely to maintain me abreast of how far alongside I used to be. I knew my week modified on Thursdays, however that was it — with out the emails I might have been clueless. The second time round, I didn’t care concerning the fruit/vegetable comparability, however I may ignore that. What aggravated me had been the snippets of conversations the emails included. I didn’t care what different ladies had been going by way of, questioning or feeling. And I acquired irritated with the “useful hints” the emails needed to show me. Worse but was the concern-trolling. After I obtained the third e-mail that was centered on weight acquire, I made a decision to cease studying them altogether and deleted them as quickly as I acquired my weekly replace.

Stomach photos…

For child one, I diligently took photos each two weeks, marking my being pregnant progress. I made certain to face in the identical place and put on the identical outfit every time so we may see simply how my stomach was altering. I even made my husband take a number of photos so I may select the perfect one. I additionally lettered the indicators simply so and infrequently rewrote them after I was sad with the dimensions of the “1” in relation to the “8” or different such nonsense.

For child two, I completely forgot that I had truly taken photos of my stomach on goal the primary time round. I remembered someplace round 24 weeks, after I was already big and bloated and didn’t really feel like displaying off, not to mention caring a couple of rattling signal that might assist doc my big ass for prosperity. So, I took no cutesy weekly replace photos whereas pregnant the second time round. If child two desires to see what I regarded like whereas I used to be pregnant with him, he can have a look at photos of me along with his brother.

For child one, I apprehensive about actually every part I may take into consideration. I apprehensive about developmental and psychological situations. I apprehensive he could be imply, that he wouldn’t like me or that I wouldn’t like him. I apprehensive that I wouldn’t be capable of breastfeed. I apprehensive that he could be kidnapped. I apprehensive that I might be kidnapped and he could be minimize out of me, raised by a deranged particular person or bought on the infant black market. I apprehensive that I used to be damaging his psyche by watching exhibits like Legal Minds or Regulation & Order: SVU — would the violent crimes I watched on TV be internalized and imprinted on his tiny mind? Had been these exhibits the explanations I used to be satisfied I’d be kidnapped by that creepy van on the nook? And why was that creepy van on the nook? I as soon as began crying at a restaurant as a result of I used to be apprehensive concerning the lotion I had used earlier that morning. Lotion. Not specialty lotion for a pores and skin situation, however common ol’ lotion. If there was one thing occurring, I apprehensive about it. After which, after all, I apprehensive that I used to be worrying an excessive amount of and was going to provide him an nervousness dysfunction primarily based on all of the in utero stress.

For child two, I solely apprehensive about sleep. I imply, that’s not utterly true as a result of there’s no method to not fear about ailments or problems or The Massive Stuff, however for essentially the most half, I primarily apprehensive about how a second child would match into our household and the way (and if) we might ever sleep once more.


For child one, I didn’t eat something that was verboten throughout being pregnant. By that, I imply I didn’t have a sip of alcohol even after I joined my husband on a enterprise journey we was a babymoon in Paris. Paris! And never even a sip of wine. No cheese in any respect in France, and within the States, no gentle cheese, no sushi, no chilly cuts and I actually wrote on my calendar after I had tuna so I wouldn’t transcend my allotted two cans in 10 days.

For child two, I laughed within the face of the ridiculous guidelines of being pregnant consuming. No, I didn’t do something to place my child in jeopardy, however I ate sushi (from respected locations). I ate gentle cheese if it was pasteurized. I ate tuna sparingly, however didn’t all the time preserve monitor of precisely when. Principally, I didn’t drive myself bonkers for the minuscule odds that I may contract a food-borne illness.

Nursery preparation…

For child one, I did greater than plan out his room — I went overboard crafting, dedicating a whole lot of hours to his room’s ornament. I made him a cross-stitch start report, two matching cross-stitch wall items and an identical cross-stitch quilt (are you pondering of doing this? Don’t! Until you’re bananas, through which case you continue to shouldn’t do it. Severely, it’s a ridiculous quantity of labor and by no means ought to anybody ever try this). Towards Jewish custom, I had his room utterly arrange earlier than he was even born and months earlier than he moved out of our room and into his. All the things matched his theme (child animals) or his colours (yellow and blue or rainbow). It was, if I’ll say so myself, an cute nursery.

For child two, my older son requested me what the infant’s room was going to be and I truly laughed. The child doesn’t have a room and gained’t have one till we transfer into an even bigger place. And when he does lastly have a room? He’ll both get the hand-me-downs from my first son’s nursery (if I ever get round to ending his half-finished start report) so my older son can have a “large boy” room, or the boys will share a room.

Delivery preparation…

For child one, I actively thought of giving start. I questioned what it might be like and thought concerning the course of, like how lengthy I might be in labor and after I would ask for the epidural (as a result of I knew it might be when and never if). I made a “labor” playlist for my iPod and purchased a mini-speaker docking station so I may hearken to music throughout my supply. I purchased myself a cute outfit to take photos with the infant. After all, an emergency C-section put the kibosh on all that, however I used to be even sort of mentally ready for a C-section (simply not one at 2:00 a.m.), understanding that they’re more and more widespread.

For child two, I didn’t take into consideration the precise start in any respect. Granted, having a scheduled C-section took the worry of labor and the uncertainty of after I would ship out of my fingers, however I didn’t even take into consideration the fundamentals of what the supply could be like. I used to be solely involved with logistics concerning my older son.

And that’s sort of the place we at the moment are — involved with logistics concerning my older son. The child’s wants are all the time trumped by my older son’s wants. When my son has to depart for college or get picked up from college, the infant’s naps must take a backseat. Because the child will get older, I’m certain we’ll settle right into a routine that works for everybody, however proper now we’re nonetheless figuring issues out. And since my older son is in school, I’m going to go coo on the child and take just a few photos of him whereas I can.

Supply: 7 Methods First And Second Pregnancies Are Totally different

7 Ways First And Second Pregnancies Are Different
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